When those with autism gaze at a wall, lights, their fingers, etc., they do not seem fully present with their surroundings. It seems pleasurable to them. Do you have this experience? If so, can you explain to me what it’s like for you?
To leave your world of tilting, dancing shadows and lights and horrible noise feels great. Great, but lonely. With an object to focus on, we escape the pain and confusion, and the Beast called autism protects us like a mighty shield.
You see him as naughty, causing us to be distant, strange, rude, or all three. Sometimes you complain about our Beast, other times you struggle with him for our attention. But times that you hate him are scary for us because please don’t hate our protector. We need him to breathe. He rescues us. With no Beast we might go crazy. Autism is not bad. It’s different. It needs to hide to find peace.